WELCOME TO THE VIRTUAL CAMPUS OF STFU, THE MCLUHANESQUE VIRTUAL MULTIVERSITY
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Just like any great institute of higher learning, STFU prides itself on allowing our students to reach their highest levels of achievement in the shortest amount of time.
We're not so much a UNIversity as a MULTIversity. We don't limit ourselves by program titles or experts. After all, when you have a degree, aren't YOU the expert?
Degrees, for us, aren't so much programs as INVESTMENTS in your future. We believe that your buy-in to our methodology furthers the value of your INVESTMENT into your degree by validating our methods. It's the opposite of a vicious circle. It's what we call the VIRTUE CIRCLE.
Pedagogically it works as follows:
  • STEP ONE: Your unpurchased diploma is worth nothing and sits blank on our hard drive like so many bits and bytes of a digital horcrux.
  • STEP TWO: You purchase a degree from STFU Multiversity.
  • STEP THREE: STFU's assets and equity are enhanced by your purchase. Assets equal standing in the educational community. Our growing assets increase the value of you degree with every new degree purchased.
  • STEP FOUR: Every friend who also purchases a degree increases not only their degree's value, but yours as well. What's good for your friend, is good for STFU, is good for you... the VIRTUE CIRCLE.
PROGRAMS
Don't bother searching for the academic program you want. You CREATE YOUR PROGRAM with our "Don't Ask, Just Tell" proprietary system. Want a Bachelors of Chocolate Bars? Done! How about a Masters in Curling Rock Management? Done. What about a Doctorate of Funk? Done.

DEGREES & COST
STFU currently offers four standard degree levels. We are considering future expansion, so if you don't find what you're looking for, let us know @mcluhanesque on Twitter.
  • Bachelors Degree - $300
  • Masters Degree - $120 with a STFU Bachelors, $400 on its own.
  • M.B.A. - $200 with a STFU Bachelors, 
    $500 on its own.
  • Ph.D. - $5000 includes any Bachelors and Masters degrees of choice.
PAYMENT
We take two types of payment: FOILcoin and AEIOU (All Electronic IOU). The AEIOU system allows a virtual IOU to be issued by the degree-seeker for 100 years from the date the degree is purchased. Just put it in writing. We believe you... after all, you'll be one of our alumni.

PROJECTS
  • Currently working on establishing the STFU Alumni Foundation.
  • Application into the NCAA to accept the STFU Fighting Cock Bastards as Division Eight school football program. Tryouts will occur upon acceptance.
CONTACT US 
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Our campus has the best facilities in the world... as a matter of fact, it IS the world!
Many people have asked what STFU stands for. It stands for RESPECT. It stands for DIGNITY.
It stands for ACADEMIC VALUE. What more could you ask of your Multiversity?
Our EXCITING new find! A recording of "Old STFU" by the legendary Stuffenpuffs from the days when STFU was a real brick & mortar university! We're proud to recognize the long heritage of STFU! LISTEN!